Jell-O + Calling the Shots + Our (new) New Route

There’s an old cruisers’ adage: All plans are made in Jell-O. (Families with young children might adopt this saying, too, because so much becomes unpredictable when you’re at sea/have kids.) And so I’m here to announce that we have a (new) new route.

After Talia’s blog about our planned itinerary to Asia, you may be thinking: Another new plan?! Jeez, these guys are flakey! But here’s what you can count on: We will continually revise our plans until we find a plan that works for all of us.

Though, of course, Graeme and I always get the final say. Early on in parenting, I learned a trick from my friend Sue. “Who calls the shots in this family?” she’d ask her two daughters. “You do,” they’d say, without cheer, but also without hesitation.

Sometimes it seems like modern American parents have forgotten that they are, in fact, in charge. I don’t mean this as a power trip. I mean that caring for the well-being of the entire family (including all its members) calls upon parents to make tough choices, sometimes choices that really tick off their children. Like recently, our friends had to tell their daughter it was time to switch schools because shuttling her across town was no longer sustainable; she was not happy with the news. And our kids sometimes claim we’ve ruined their lives by going cruising. A friend told me dryly, “My kids routinely say I’ve ruined their lives. And we live in a house.”

If the daughters chez Dogbark had a packet of Jell-O for every adult who’s told them how lucky they are to be out cruising the world, the entire Pacific Ocean would be wiggling and jiggling right now. Which brings us conveniently back to our ongoing back-and-forth decision-making process about where to go next in this great vast Pacific, and for how long.

The challenge is that we all want different things.

Janna: I hoped to cruise for 2-3 years, so I have to admit I’m disappointed that we’re heading home so soon. I love the idea of raising kids at sea and around the globe. But Graeme rightly points out that I can do my job—writing my next memoir, MATE, about how sailing the Arctic with kids is easier than navigating the frenzy of modern parenthood—almost anywhere. (He doesn’t have that luxury.) But in terms of figuring out where to go next, it just seems wrong that we’re out here “cruising the world” but, with our thwarted NW Passage attempt, have only actually visited the U.S. and Canada. At least before we go home, we must see more countries!

Talia (turns 13 next week!): Misses friends and time with other kids—would like to return to school next fall. Loves horses—happiest at the barn (we found a great one here, which she doesn’t want to leave). Craves community—races aboard Firefly, an awesome female-skippered boat here in Honolulu, because she loves belonging to a team. 

Savai (10.5): Flexible in body, mind, and spirit. She misses her friends and kid-time, too, and wants to return to school next fall, but is up for adventure until then. She can take her latest passion (aerial silks) with us anywhere.

Graeme: Loves sailing—races regularly on Firefly—but we haven’t cruised Dogbark much in Hawai’i this winter due to unsettled weather. The good news is that time at the dock has allowed Graeme to start a business, inspired by our time in the Arctic, making high-performance, eco-thoughtful outdoor heating products for wilderness use. The company’s mission is to help outdoor folks work and play in the cold earlier, later, and longer.

With Graeme’s new business and my goal of delivering my book by the end of the year, we both have lots of work to do each day in addition to boatschool (I’m in charge of Language Arts and Social Studies, he’s in charge of Math and Science, but thankfully the girls are very self-directed). Add to that the fact that cruising is doing boat repairs in exotic places and, despite not having traditional 9-to-5 jobs, we’ve got pretty full days.

And meanwhile, the cruising kitty is getting low.

But why not Asia? Well, cruising Asia ain’t easy. Typhoons can form year-round. Not a lot of boats (let alone boats with kids) go there. And it’s a lot of ocean miles—many of them upwind, many off the beaten path. So …

We’re sailing to the South Pacific instead! We got an email from our friends on SV Goblin, whose daughter is good friends with our girls. They recently arrived in the Marquesas, so we’re going to jump south and meet them; this is an unusual benefit of cruising a fast raceboat instead of a typical cruiser. Even better, we’ve enlisted our friend Eli and his son Sol (also good friends with our girls) to do the crossing with us. Yipee!

Here’s our revised cruising plan:

March 15: Celebrate Talia’s 13^thBirthday! Pick up Eli and Sol from the airport. Sail south soon thereafter depending on weather window.

End of March: Arrive Marquesas (or Tuamotus if that route looks better) after 10ish day crossing from Hawai’i. (For reference, it would have taken our old 35’ ketch, Dragonfly, twice as long.)

Early April: Eli and Sol fly home; we continue cruising in Marquesas/Tuamotus with Goblin and hopefully another kid-boat, Alondra.

End of April: Head north back to Hawai’i, buddy-boating with Goblin. Cruise more of Hawai’i in between doing boat repairs. We haven’t sailed to Kauai or the Big Island yet, so we’d love to do that before we leave.

End of May: Head north to Alaska with Goblin, Present Moment (Seattle cruisers here at WYC), and Debonair, another kid-boat.

June – July: Cruise Alaska!

August: Head home to Seattle so kids can start school again this fall.

At least that’s the plan. (In Jell-O.)